So, lately I've been feeling a little strange, like something has been wrong. I'm not sure where it's coming from or why, but I haven't been able to shake it. Whenever I get feelings like this one thing that I do to make myself feel better, is to do a protection spell or charm.
There are so many different types of protection spells out there, and I'm an experimental kinda witch so I've been really thinking about the kind protection spell I want to do. Some of my favorite kinds of spells to do are candle magick spells, and incantations.
Candle Magick is when you focus your intent into a candle and then burn the candle to release that intent. Some witches rub oils or herbs onto the candle to further focus what you want using the magickal purposes for those herbs and oils to further the magick. In some cases even the candle color can be used to assist with the magickal intent. I like candle magick because though it seems like an easy form of magick, it can really be an art and is very versatile.
Incantations can be even easier than candle magick. But there's more responsibility behind it, when you realize how powerful words really are. A very important thing to remember about magick is that our intent is was fuels the magick, and words are often how we express intent even in our mundane (or non magickal lives). When we say things for good or for bad they can impact the people and things around us, that's why things like daily affirmations can truly affect a person.
Charms or Talismans are physical objects that have been blessed or spelled. This is a form of magick that is pretty interesting because creating a charm or talisman takes time and effort, Some people take something they already have and bless it, others actually make the item. Sometimes special symbols are used sometimes its just a spoken spell over the item to make it work.
There are many other kinds of spells. But I think that for this I will most likely create a protection charm. I haven't made a charm before and it sounds like something that would be interesting to experiment with. I have a little statue, I am going to place a protection spell on it to have my own little guardian.
~peace love and pixie giggles~
Shuvanni
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Post Valentines Day Stupidity
Okay so Valentine's Day is long gone, but unfortunately living in a town where people have crap to talk about apparently, I was suprised by the questions I receive nearly 2 weeks after the holiday and the reaction to my answers.
The first one I will talk about is the good old fashioned. "So did your boyfriend do anything nice for you on Valentines Day?"
Last night at coffee I went out for a smoke and this woman asked me that. I replied with "he does nice things for me everyday." She frowned and asked "So nothing special?" I shrugged and laughed. "Well that's terrible, I would be upset if my boyfriend didn't at least get me flowers on valentines day."
At this point I cock my head and think before I speak. So I asked her, "Well did your boyfriend do anything special for you today?" She looked at me confused and said, "No, why?" I laughed and replied, "Well today my boyfriend bought me a gift and took me to the movies and then here for coffee afterward." She put out her cigarette and mumbled something like "Whatever." Before going inside.
Something a lot of people don't get is why I don't care about a commercialized holiday like Valentine's Day. I feel like forcing couples to make it a day of love is stupid, love should be given freely whenever the urge strikes, not because the calendar says to do so. So I didn't get flowers and candy on February 14th. Alex randomly gives me gifts, and takes me out without the constraints of what day it is. And I feel it makes it all the more special. Alex has his own version of romantic, which suits someone like me who is pretty low maintenance. I am not usually big on gifts and flowers and crap like that. so he does nice things for me in a way he knows I'll enjoy. Taking me to the movies, and buying us new video games. That''s how we roll.
This second one is one I actually get more around valentine's day, though I get it year round too. "Well since you're a witch, can you cast a love spell for me?"
"I don't believe in love spells."
This is one that I have thought long and hard about my whole life, and to be honest, love spells are my least favorite topic. But let me be more specific. I don't believe in love spells to make someone else love you. I do believe in love spells that is meant to create self love within yourself or to assist in expressing love for others. But that is a whole different concept than what people want.
People seem to want you to "Make someone love them." It doesn't work that way. And even if I wanted to and could, I wouldn't because love is a naturally occurring thing and to force it into existence would take away the beauty that is love, and make it something fake and alien. I would choose real love over fake love every single time. Love is friendship caught fire. If it doesn't ignite it wasn't meant to be.
The first one I will talk about is the good old fashioned. "So did your boyfriend do anything nice for you on Valentines Day?"
Last night at coffee I went out for a smoke and this woman asked me that. I replied with "he does nice things for me everyday." She frowned and asked "So nothing special?" I shrugged and laughed. "Well that's terrible, I would be upset if my boyfriend didn't at least get me flowers on valentines day."
At this point I cock my head and think before I speak. So I asked her, "Well did your boyfriend do anything special for you today?" She looked at me confused and said, "No, why?" I laughed and replied, "Well today my boyfriend bought me a gift and took me to the movies and then here for coffee afterward." She put out her cigarette and mumbled something like "Whatever." Before going inside.
Something a lot of people don't get is why I don't care about a commercialized holiday like Valentine's Day. I feel like forcing couples to make it a day of love is stupid, love should be given freely whenever the urge strikes, not because the calendar says to do so. So I didn't get flowers and candy on February 14th. Alex randomly gives me gifts, and takes me out without the constraints of what day it is. And I feel it makes it all the more special. Alex has his own version of romantic, which suits someone like me who is pretty low maintenance. I am not usually big on gifts and flowers and crap like that. so he does nice things for me in a way he knows I'll enjoy. Taking me to the movies, and buying us new video games. That''s how we roll.
This second one is one I actually get more around valentine's day, though I get it year round too. "Well since you're a witch, can you cast a love spell for me?"
"I don't believe in love spells."
This is one that I have thought long and hard about my whole life, and to be honest, love spells are my least favorite topic. But let me be more specific. I don't believe in love spells to make someone else love you. I do believe in love spells that is meant to create self love within yourself or to assist in expressing love for others. But that is a whole different concept than what people want.
People seem to want you to "Make someone love them." It doesn't work that way. And even if I wanted to and could, I wouldn't because love is a naturally occurring thing and to force it into existence would take away the beauty that is love, and make it something fake and alien. I would choose real love over fake love every single time. Love is friendship caught fire. If it doesn't ignite it wasn't meant to be.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Daily Affirmations.
I recently decided a good way to move forward in a positive way is to start using daily affirmations to work magick in my life. An affirmation is basically a wish stated as though it is already true. It follows the theory of a self fulfilling prophesy. If you believe something will be, it will be.
People from all walks of life use daily affirmations to help build confidence, or a positive outlook on things. As a modern witch, I know that saying words with strong intent, is a spell within itself. Its a simple way of sending out positive energy into the world and reaping the benefits that return to you.
Today I selected the statement: "The more I give away, more space I create for good things to come to me."
I chose this as my affirmation for today because I often cling onto the negative , hold grudges, and horde bad memories. So today is all about letting things go, because if I cling onto the negative, then there wouldn't be room for the good to come into my life. It seems like Jean's return would not have occurred if I hadn't let go of all that had happened. I spent so much time thinking, and mourning the loss of our friendship. Over time I let it go, and now she has returned into my life. Maybe it happened now because there wasn't room for it before.
People from all walks of life use daily affirmations to help build confidence, or a positive outlook on things. As a modern witch, I know that saying words with strong intent, is a spell within itself. Its a simple way of sending out positive energy into the world and reaping the benefits that return to you.
Today I selected the statement: "The more I give away, more space I create for good things to come to me."
I chose this as my affirmation for today because I often cling onto the negative , hold grudges, and horde bad memories. So today is all about letting things go, because if I cling onto the negative, then there wouldn't be room for the good to come into my life. It seems like Jean's return would not have occurred if I hadn't let go of all that had happened. I spent so much time thinking, and mourning the loss of our friendship. Over time I let it go, and now she has returned into my life. Maybe it happened now because there wasn't room for it before.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Dramatic or Not so much
So as I have said before I have a horrible temper, and at times it costs me a lot. I have lost jobs, and friends, and to some extent it has helped in the estrangement from my family. But I can honestly say with the family thing, we're all screwed up, its not just me.
Well, anyways. Part of the reason for my temperment problem is my borderline personality disorder. I tend to think irrationally and act out based upon that. Its not all the time though, just when I'm under a lot of stress. There is also a theory that my inoperable brain tumor may be part of the problem too. But I'm not one to use it as a cop out, the things that I do are still my own fault and I'm working on it. I've done therapy, and whatnot, but mostly I've been trying to de-stress myself as much as possible. Part of the problem with that is, I am a very high strung person. I am easily stressed by little things. Thus I have to take it one step at a time.
A bit over a year ago, I had become really close to some people I met in a chatroom. But of course my temper got the best of me, and two of them stopped talking to me altogether. I stopped going to that chat room because I didn't want to intrude on their room since we weren't friends anymore, and they were there first. Well, the day before yesterday one of them re added me to facebook. I spent almost a whole day trying to decide if I should accept the request. I was so upset when she and I stopped talking. Back in the day we were so close. It broke my heart when even months later she told me that she didn't want to have anything to do with me.
So I finally decided to add her and see what happened. Yesterday we talked on IM for a while, she said she forgave me, and just needed time. I told her about what I had been doing to work on my temper, and I told her I might never be able to fix it, so if she couldn't handle it then we might not want to try being friends again. She said she didn't care. I felt tense the whole conversation. I was waiting for her to suddenly realize "Oh wait I hate this girl why the fuck did I forgive her?" or to say the wrong thing and re-initiate prior hatred. The back of my head keeps reeling around about why on earth out of the blue she wants us to be friends again.
Jean is dating my friend Jeff. He was one of the people from the chat room. He was also part of the whole giant fight thing from over a year ago, but was definitely quicker to forgive, he and I would occasionally talk from time to time, though we aren't nearly as close as we once were. While talking Jean admitted that Drex, the third person involved in that whole upheaval, disapproved of her missing and forgiving me, but that she doesn't care.
Apparently the chat room that we all regged in is dead now, but she and Jeff want to start it up on its own website or something. I don't know why she mentioned it to me, I don't know if its a hint that I would be welcome. As much as I miss chatting with her and Jeff, I don't know if I could do it. Drex was always a big part of our group, and actually in charge of the chatroom along with Jean and Jeff and a few others. Basically the chatroom was run by several people and then they had temporary mods. I was a temp mod for when the leaders weren't around or were busy.
I just don't know what is going to happen, or why any of this is being brought back to me now. I had been trying for a long time to put that all behind me. I had finally started to accept that they wouldn't be my friends anymore, and that I would not be welcome in their chatroom. Now i've got all these questions that I can't even bring myself to ask, out of fear.
Just needed to write it all out.
~peace love and pixie giggles~
Shuvanni
Well, anyways. Part of the reason for my temperment problem is my borderline personality disorder. I tend to think irrationally and act out based upon that. Its not all the time though, just when I'm under a lot of stress. There is also a theory that my inoperable brain tumor may be part of the problem too. But I'm not one to use it as a cop out, the things that I do are still my own fault and I'm working on it. I've done therapy, and whatnot, but mostly I've been trying to de-stress myself as much as possible. Part of the problem with that is, I am a very high strung person. I am easily stressed by little things. Thus I have to take it one step at a time.
A bit over a year ago, I had become really close to some people I met in a chatroom. But of course my temper got the best of me, and two of them stopped talking to me altogether. I stopped going to that chat room because I didn't want to intrude on their room since we weren't friends anymore, and they were there first. Well, the day before yesterday one of them re added me to facebook. I spent almost a whole day trying to decide if I should accept the request. I was so upset when she and I stopped talking. Back in the day we were so close. It broke my heart when even months later she told me that she didn't want to have anything to do with me.
So I finally decided to add her and see what happened. Yesterday we talked on IM for a while, she said she forgave me, and just needed time. I told her about what I had been doing to work on my temper, and I told her I might never be able to fix it, so if she couldn't handle it then we might not want to try being friends again. She said she didn't care. I felt tense the whole conversation. I was waiting for her to suddenly realize "Oh wait I hate this girl why the fuck did I forgive her?" or to say the wrong thing and re-initiate prior hatred. The back of my head keeps reeling around about why on earth out of the blue she wants us to be friends again.
Jean is dating my friend Jeff. He was one of the people from the chat room. He was also part of the whole giant fight thing from over a year ago, but was definitely quicker to forgive, he and I would occasionally talk from time to time, though we aren't nearly as close as we once were. While talking Jean admitted that Drex, the third person involved in that whole upheaval, disapproved of her missing and forgiving me, but that she doesn't care.
Apparently the chat room that we all regged in is dead now, but she and Jeff want to start it up on its own website or something. I don't know why she mentioned it to me, I don't know if its a hint that I would be welcome. As much as I miss chatting with her and Jeff, I don't know if I could do it. Drex was always a big part of our group, and actually in charge of the chatroom along with Jean and Jeff and a few others. Basically the chatroom was run by several people and then they had temporary mods. I was a temp mod for when the leaders weren't around or were busy.
I just don't know what is going to happen, or why any of this is being brought back to me now. I had been trying for a long time to put that all behind me. I had finally started to accept that they wouldn't be my friends anymore, and that I would not be welcome in their chatroom. Now i've got all these questions that I can't even bring myself to ask, out of fear.
Just needed to write it all out.
~peace love and pixie giggles~
Shuvanni
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Why Gamer-Rage Sucks

Okay, so this is basically what our ps3 controller looks like after the boyfriend was finished with it. Unfortunately that isn't the actual picture because the roomie had thrown it away before I could take a picture with my phone. I had gone outside for a cig to calm myself down after Alex's temper tantrum.
I will never fully understand gamer rage. I get frustrated just like anyone else, but I know when to put down the controller and take a break, before trying again. I had a feeling that something was going to get broken tonight. On Assassin's Creed, there's a section of the game where you have to fight your way out of a room and then chase your target through the town and kill him. Well, it took me about 2 hours to complete that very same level yesterday. So when Alex was trying to do it, I knew there would be trouble. He has no patience. I honestly think people who lack patience should not play video games because they just wind up with gamer rage and ruining the fun for everyone.
So he tried a couple times and died, before he started getting so frustrated that he could no longer navigate the character because he was so frustrated. I suggested he pause it, eat dinner and go back to it. He ignored me. He tried a few more times and threw the controller. I reminded him that I told him it was a hard level, and suggested taking a break again. He then procedes to try a few more times before Gamer Rage fully set in and he screamed at the TV and snapped the controller in half.
This was upsetting to me for a few reasons.
1. I don't like it when people are upset and anger scares me.
2. He broke the controller thus, I can't play until he gets another one.
3. This will probably happen again soon.
So I went outside to smoke a cigarette and cry a bit. I cried because of the reason's stated above. Part of me didn't even want to go inside. Eventually I went back in, the boyfriend had apparently smashed a dish on the kitchen floor and went to take a shower. The roomie was also rather upset about the situation, she cleaned up the mess and went to bed.
Alex came out and appologized, admitting that a grown man shouldn't act this way and everything, but in reality, I don't think he should play these games. I don't think he should play anything that frustrates him, if he cannot have the patience to work out he problems instead of throwing a fit. It didn't solve anything. All it did was ruin everyone's night.
So those of you with gamer rage issues, quit gaming or stfu.
~Peace Love and pixie giggles~
Shuvanni
Shuvanni
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Imbolg Blessings!!

Today is one of the Sabbat's that I celebrate called Imbolc. It is called by many names; Imbolc, Imbolg, and Candlemas are just a few examples. This is a holiday in which we celebrate the beginning of spring. This is the halfway point between the Winter Solstice, and the Spring Equinox. This is a time to clear away the clutter in your life through spring cleaning not only physically, but also mentally and metaphysically. Cleansing your home is a great way to get rid of some of the metaphysical clutter in your life. This is also a time to refuel yourself, and really look at your intentions, and figure out what you need to to achieve your goals for the year.
Imbolc is a holiday dedicated to the Celtic Goddess Brigid. Many leave offerings to her at her wells all about Ireland. Though you can leave offerings and dedicate yourself to Brigid within your home and it works just as well. Brigid is the Goddess of the forge, who can be utilized when fine tuning your own tools, whether they are metaphysical tools (wand,) your physical tools you use in normal work, or your mental tools.
Imbolc also marks the birthing of lambs, and the days growing longer again, which if you enjoy the sunshine is always something to be happy about.For my own Imbolc celebration I cleaned up the apartment, did a cleansing with sage, and incense and did a small ritual. I hope everyone enjoys the day in whatever way they wish.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Did It First
With Imbolc coming up, There have been quite a few articles floating around from some of the like pages I have for pagan publications on the topic. One title caught my eye and I shared the article on my wall. The title was You call it groundhog day, we call it Imbolc. A friend of mine commented below it with, "I suppose "you people" also invented Flag Day, Black History Month, and Toyotathon too, right?" Now I know my friend's humor and understand he was kidding. But the truth of it is a lot of Secular and Christian holidays have foundations in Pagan ones. Christmas to our Yule, Groundhog day to our Imbolc, Easter to our Ostara, Mayday to our Beltaine, and Halloween to our Samhain.
But is this really important? No, not really. Some people start foaming at the mouth on either side when you talk about the "borrowed holidays," or "stolen traditions." Non-pagans argue that its all a lie, and pagans argue that their traditions have been stolen. The truth is, that it isn't relevant. Non-pagans don't have to believe it if they don't want to face the historical truth. Now, there are some open minded people that understand that its true. The ones that don't are also the kinds that believe that scientists fabricated the existence of dinosaurs.
Okay back to what I was talking about. When, pagans argue about stolen traditions, they fail to realize that nothing has really been stolen from them. They can still celebrate the holiday the way it was intended. But if they are upset about the lack of limelight for it, then they fail to understand that the Sabbats are most definitely not meant to be commercialized in any way, and if Christians want that for their own holiday then let them do it.
In all reality I find it hilarious, that the holidays have mixed and mingled together, and when I am being harassed for my own beliefs, it is good ammunition to get a fundamentalist to back off.
Once you tell them to give you back your holidays, they either get confused, or really upset. If they get confused, you may have the chance to teach them something if they are able to be open minded for a moment. If they get upset, they will either have a total mental breakdown and bible-rage you, or they will go away. I find bible-rage hilarious, and going away is nice too, so for me its a win-win situation.

This is kinda like what bible rage looks like.
So why do I share articles about the topic on my facebook if i don't think it's really relevant who did it first? 3 reasons.
1. Because I enjoyed the article and want my other pagan friends to read it.
2. Because I want to make it possible for someone who doesn't know much about the topic to have a chance to read it.
3. Bible-rage is hilarious.
~peace love and pixie giggles~
Shuvanni
But is this really important? No, not really. Some people start foaming at the mouth on either side when you talk about the "borrowed holidays," or "stolen traditions." Non-pagans argue that its all a lie, and pagans argue that their traditions have been stolen. The truth is, that it isn't relevant. Non-pagans don't have to believe it if they don't want to face the historical truth. Now, there are some open minded people that understand that its true. The ones that don't are also the kinds that believe that scientists fabricated the existence of dinosaurs.
Okay back to what I was talking about. When, pagans argue about stolen traditions, they fail to realize that nothing has really been stolen from them. They can still celebrate the holiday the way it was intended. But if they are upset about the lack of limelight for it, then they fail to understand that the Sabbats are most definitely not meant to be commercialized in any way, and if Christians want that for their own holiday then let them do it.
In all reality I find it hilarious, that the holidays have mixed and mingled together, and when I am being harassed for my own beliefs, it is good ammunition to get a fundamentalist to back off.
Once you tell them to give you back your holidays, they either get confused, or really upset. If they get confused, you may have the chance to teach them something if they are able to be open minded for a moment. If they get upset, they will either have a total mental breakdown and bible-rage you, or they will go away. I find bible-rage hilarious, and going away is nice too, so for me its a win-win situation.
So why do I share articles about the topic on my facebook if i don't think it's really relevant who did it first? 3 reasons.
1. Because I enjoyed the article and want my other pagan friends to read it.
2. Because I want to make it possible for someone who doesn't know much about the topic to have a chance to read it.
3. Bible-rage is hilarious.
~peace love and pixie giggles~
Shuvanni
Friday, January 28, 2011
Eskimos make me sad.
So over the last few days the boyfriend has been consistently asking me, "What's wrong?" Which is fine the first few times but after a while it becomes rather unnerving and annoying. For some reason when people ask me that it makes me wonder if I look miserable or if they are just trying to stir something up. So Yesterday I decided to tell him the next time he asked me that, "Eskimos make me sad." Just to get him off my back and be rather funny. It just sounds to unusual and random that he'd actually believe me that I really am doing just fine.
But before I could complete my master plan, he comes home from work gives me the biggest kiss, and reveals he has bought us a PS3 to play. He wanted something that he could do in his spare time and something that would happily entertain me. I was so exited. I think maybe he bought it to "cheer me up" even though I didn't need cheering up. But hey I'm not gonna argue, its a freakin' PS3. I haven't had a video game system since my N64 so its really cool. We only Have Gran Turismo and the Incredibles right now, but in the future we plan on getting more games. Though to be honest for a kids game the Incredibles is pretty difficult.
Well, I hope eventually to inform someone that Eskimos make me sad. But for now I'm going to enjoy trying to beat this game.
~peace love and pixie giggles~
Shuvanni
But before I could complete my master plan, he comes home from work gives me the biggest kiss, and reveals he has bought us a PS3 to play. He wanted something that he could do in his spare time and something that would happily entertain me. I was so exited. I think maybe he bought it to "cheer me up" even though I didn't need cheering up. But hey I'm not gonna argue, its a freakin' PS3. I haven't had a video game system since my N64 so its really cool. We only Have Gran Turismo and the Incredibles right now, but in the future we plan on getting more games. Though to be honest for a kids game the Incredibles is pretty difficult.
Well, I hope eventually to inform someone that Eskimos make me sad. But for now I'm going to enjoy trying to beat this game.
~peace love and pixie giggles~
Shuvanni
Monday, January 24, 2011
Its all fun and games until someone gets called a whore.
Okay so I've been going through this Nostalgia Phase, where I've rediscovered my obsession for video games and video game comedy. I started reading Dorkly which is a site dedicated to such nerdly things. I absolutely love everything "Legend of Zelda." It was my favorite game growing up and often wish I still had my N64 so I could play ocarina of time for the millionth time. But alas :/ no n64. So I saw some amazing tattoos of the hyrule crest and I instantly decided when I have money I want one.
So I posted a status on my facebook about wanting one. A conversation sprouted about tattoos and other nerd type things and then Kimmy and I got back onto the topic of the elf ears I would get if I won the lottery. (Yes I want surgically altered pointy ears.) She made a quip about girl sex. I laughed and typed back that of course there would be much elf girl sex. Suddenly I get blasted by a friend about how he would not like to see something like that. I replied back with that's fine... you weren't invited. Which spiraled into something about threesomes being wrong because the girl is basically saying "I'm a whore, and cheating is okay."
Hold the fuck up. Who the hell are you to judge a person based upon something that they are doing in the bedroom. I am a strong believer that consenting adults that are doing nothing harmful or illegal can do just about anything in the bedroom they want. (CONSENTING ADULTS & LEGAL THINGS.) I've had a threesome before. I'm not embarrassed to admit it. I wasn't in a relationship at the time, but my friend and his girlfriend wanted to. They're relationship didn't crumble at their feet because of it. Neither of them left the other for me. It was just one interesting night. I also strongly believe that polyamory can exist. As long as the people involved are comfortable and honest with each other. I don't see anything wrong with it.
It's not cheating if there is no deceit involved.
So basically I got called a whore on my own wall. I deleted the whole status, and refused to discuss it further because I didn't want to flip the fuck out. But I was really hurt by that. But at least I have a new phrase for my list of phrases I enjoy. "It's all fun and games until someone gets called a whore." It has an interesting ring to it.
Well, back to my latest obsession. I have discovered a band that I had never heard of that plays using video game music blended with rock/pop type stylings. They do an amazing Legend of Zelda cover. I Fight Dragons has now found a place in my heart!
I've been searching youtube for anything having to do with The Super Mario Bros or The Legend of Zelda. There are some really amazing things out there. I found one guy who can actually play violin along with video games.
For fans of video games I recommend checking these out. There's so much out there for people who love old school video games.
So the LOZ tattoo has been added to my list of tattoos I want to get when I am not completely broke. Eventually I'll have that, a celtic peace knot, and a faery. I have considered possibly using Navi from LOZ but I haven't decided. Well that's all for now.
~peace love and pixie giggles~
Shuvanni
Monday, January 10, 2011
The Spider Incident
Last night after everyone went to bed, I was on my laptop, enjoying my random surfing of youtube, when out of the corner of my eye I see something moving around by the fireplace. Praying it's just my imagination I turn and look. No, it was not my imagination. IT WAS A HUGE SPIDER!!!!

Okay, so I know that as a modern witch I should be able to respect all creatures of this wonderful planet, but I have not found any sort of peace or love for the spiders of the world. They creep me out with their too many arms and legs situation they have going on. I can deal with snakes, I can deal with bugs, but I cannot successfully handle a spider. I have severe arachnophobia. I have been for years. I've slowly gotten better about it. There was a point where I would scream and cry and not be able to be in the same room as one, but this night I managed to handle it pretty well. My biggest concern was not waking the roomie or the boyfriend. Though I have to tell you, my heart was pounding and I felt like there were spiders crawling all over me. I always get like that after seeing one, whether its in real life or on tv. Sometimes hearing a story can bother me.
So not knowing what else to do I flee the room, realizing that I cannot spend the rest of the night in the kitchen, I go back in with a jar. I place the jar over the spider and then retreat to the couch furthest away from the spider-under-the-jar.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "If you can put a jar over it why not kill it?" I have to very valid answers for that:
1. The robot-roomie is strongly against killing spiders. She believes that they should be set free in the wilderness. Not simply because they are one of the goddesses creatures, but also because killing them is apparently bad luck.
2. Because if I attempt to kill it, I will then have to pick it up with a tissue or something to dispose of its dead body. That's creepy, and also it may not actually be dead and could spring back to life and bite me just to get even for the sad attempt at squishing it.
So now that's out of the way. I spent the rest of the night awaiting my rescue. I knew that the boyfriend or the robot-roomie would wake up eventually. I hoped one of them would have to pee, but alas this was an all night situation. I was rather concerned that it could possibly be a mutated super-spider that would get mad enough to knock over the jar and escape, plotting to bite me once I fell asleep, luckily that didn't happen.
Relief finally came at about quarter till 7 when my roommate finally woke up and started making coffee. I informed her of the situation and she too the lid to the jar slid it under the spider and screwed it on. She placed it on the kitchen counter and continued with the coffee-making. She decided to take her coffee back to her room leaving the angry looking jarred spider on the counter. I went to ask her what she was going to do about it, and she said she would take care of it after her first cup of coffee. The only logical thing that this could mean was that she was saving the spider to collect its mutated venom and create a serum to take over the world with, or kill me in my sleep. Because my roommate is quite possibly an evil robot, if I hadn't mentioned that before.
I retreated back to the living room relieved of the situation. But then the boyfriend emerges to leave for work. He asks me about the spider and I explain what happened. He laughs and asks me why I didn't kill it myself. I explain the reasons, and he proceeds to go into the kitchen and spray brake clean into the spiderjar, killing it. My Hero!!!
So the moral of the story is; what seems mundane to some may actually be the makings of a rather eventful night for another. In other words phobia+ imagination + lack of sleep = interesting night.
And if you are trying to figure out why I think my roommate might be a robot, check out my last post Burned Up and I am sure you will see why I think this way. I may do a post strictly on the "100 reasons my roommate is a robot."
Though I wish she was more like GIR, my favorite robot in the world! (Though I love pintsize too he is technically an anthro-PC.)

~peace, love and pixiegiggles~
Shuvanni
Okay, so I know that as a modern witch I should be able to respect all creatures of this wonderful planet, but I have not found any sort of peace or love for the spiders of the world. They creep me out with their too many arms and legs situation they have going on. I can deal with snakes, I can deal with bugs, but I cannot successfully handle a spider. I have severe arachnophobia. I have been for years. I've slowly gotten better about it. There was a point where I would scream and cry and not be able to be in the same room as one, but this night I managed to handle it pretty well. My biggest concern was not waking the roomie or the boyfriend. Though I have to tell you, my heart was pounding and I felt like there were spiders crawling all over me. I always get like that after seeing one, whether its in real life or on tv. Sometimes hearing a story can bother me.
So not knowing what else to do I flee the room, realizing that I cannot spend the rest of the night in the kitchen, I go back in with a jar. I place the jar over the spider and then retreat to the couch furthest away from the spider-under-the-jar.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "If you can put a jar over it why not kill it?" I have to very valid answers for that:
1. The robot-roomie is strongly against killing spiders. She believes that they should be set free in the wilderness. Not simply because they are one of the goddesses creatures, but also because killing them is apparently bad luck.
2. Because if I attempt to kill it, I will then have to pick it up with a tissue or something to dispose of its dead body. That's creepy, and also it may not actually be dead and could spring back to life and bite me just to get even for the sad attempt at squishing it.
So now that's out of the way. I spent the rest of the night awaiting my rescue. I knew that the boyfriend or the robot-roomie would wake up eventually. I hoped one of them would have to pee, but alas this was an all night situation. I was rather concerned that it could possibly be a mutated super-spider that would get mad enough to knock over the jar and escape, plotting to bite me once I fell asleep, luckily that didn't happen.
Relief finally came at about quarter till 7 when my roommate finally woke up and started making coffee. I informed her of the situation and she too the lid to the jar slid it under the spider and screwed it on. She placed it on the kitchen counter and continued with the coffee-making. She decided to take her coffee back to her room leaving the angry looking jarred spider on the counter. I went to ask her what she was going to do about it, and she said she would take care of it after her first cup of coffee. The only logical thing that this could mean was that she was saving the spider to collect its mutated venom and create a serum to take over the world with, or kill me in my sleep. Because my roommate is quite possibly an evil robot, if I hadn't mentioned that before.
I retreated back to the living room relieved of the situation. But then the boyfriend emerges to leave for work. He asks me about the spider and I explain what happened. He laughs and asks me why I didn't kill it myself. I explain the reasons, and he proceeds to go into the kitchen and spray brake clean into the spiderjar, killing it. My Hero!!!
So the moral of the story is; what seems mundane to some may actually be the makings of a rather eventful night for another. In other words phobia+ imagination + lack of sleep = interesting night.
And if you are trying to figure out why I think my roommate might be a robot, check out my last post Burned Up and I am sure you will see why I think this way. I may do a post strictly on the "100 reasons my roommate is a robot."
Though I wish she was more like GIR, my favorite robot in the world! (Though I love pintsize too he is technically an anthro-PC.)
~peace, love and pixiegiggles~
Shuvanni
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Burned Up
Last night the roommie burned the crap out of herself making dinner. She wound up having to go to the hospital and be treated for her 2nd degree burns. They gave her some antibiotic ointment for her burn and dosed her up with morphine, then proceeded to send her home. Never mind that they just gave her MORPHINE!!! They let her drive on morphine... I mean, Seriously? That does not seem like a really good idea to me. She made it home safely and was convinced it wasn't that bad of an idea. But what if she had fallen asleep? I suppose that's just the supposed intelligence of southern medicine at its best.
The roommie claims she's okay and "not out of commission." She still went to work. Sometimes I wonder about her pride. She will continue on as normal no matter what happens to her. She's even walked about on a broken foot, because she didn't want to be down and out. While I applaud her determination, this kind of mentality may one day get her seriously hurt, or dead. I worry about that. I'm not saying you should freak out and worry about the most minor of injuries, but when you are hurt, you need time to repair, time to heal. She never does that. When she busted up her hand she insisted on continuing martial arts training as opposed to giving it time to heal. The hand probably didn't heal right, because I notice at times her messing with it and struggling to crack the knuckles like she used to.
I am a firm believer in not being a whiner, or using an injury to be spoiled or lazy. But on the other hand, when you are really hurt you need to take proper care of it. It wouldn't have killed her to take one day off from work, just to let the morphine out of her system, and to let her hand start to heal up. She does a lot of physical labor at her work and it's not going to help her burns to be doing that, she promised to keep it wrapped up which is a start I suppose, because the last thing she needs is an infection.
I suppose the whole point of this is to say, there's nothing wrong with determination. But don't be stupid about it.
The roommie claims she's okay and "not out of commission." She still went to work. Sometimes I wonder about her pride. She will continue on as normal no matter what happens to her. She's even walked about on a broken foot, because she didn't want to be down and out. While I applaud her determination, this kind of mentality may one day get her seriously hurt, or dead. I worry about that. I'm not saying you should freak out and worry about the most minor of injuries, but when you are hurt, you need time to repair, time to heal. She never does that. When she busted up her hand she insisted on continuing martial arts training as opposed to giving it time to heal. The hand probably didn't heal right, because I notice at times her messing with it and struggling to crack the knuckles like she used to.
I am a firm believer in not being a whiner, or using an injury to be spoiled or lazy. But on the other hand, when you are really hurt you need to take proper care of it. It wouldn't have killed her to take one day off from work, just to let the morphine out of her system, and to let her hand start to heal up. She does a lot of physical labor at her work and it's not going to help her burns to be doing that, she promised to keep it wrapped up which is a start I suppose, because the last thing she needs is an infection.
I suppose the whole point of this is to say, there's nothing wrong with determination. But don't be stupid about it.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Getting Back in the Saddle
So today I started preparing a resume, and thinking about the types of places I should apply to. This is when I realize I am way better and giving good advice to others than taking my own. If it were anyone else I'd say "seek out something you'd enjoy doing," but to myself it comes out more like, "be realistic and go with what you know."
Most of my prior jobs have been customer service, or food service type jobs. I liked different aspects of them but also hated them for different reasons too. My favorite job I've ever had was working in a cafe in a bookstore. So Starbucks is on my list of places to apply. It doesn't feel like a very adult job though, it seems like the kinda job a high-schooler would apply for which of course I know isn't always the case but still echoes in my brain. My last job was at a grocery store and I was awesome at my job, no doubt about it, but I quit because I couldn't get along with the new store I transferred to. I didn't really enjoy working at the other store either, but I put up with it because I had to. But it wasn't necessarily the job I hated, it was the environment. So relcutantly, I added a few grocery stores to the list of places to apply. I also added a few gas stations, which Alex crossed off some of them, telling me that he didn't like the clientele. I trust his judgment on that, since he's a mechanic and has been to them frequently. Though not a big fan of retail I added a broad "Mall" to my list. We live down the street from a good sized mall and figured I could apply at some shops and the movie theater.
I then sat down and started working on an updated resume. Not a fun task whatsoever. Of course I can't think of many people that really enjoy writing those things. I find it diffictult to write a resume that properly conveys what I want to a prospective employer. I want my resume to really show my skil-lset and how wonderful of an employee I could be. I've always prided myself on my work ethic and how when I know what I'm doing, I can do my job really well. I've always been really good at handling even the most angry or difficult customers and have always excelled at the jobs I've had. But I don't want to come off as arrogant or pretentious because I am also one of the first people to admit my faults. I have all the patience in the world for a customer, but co-workers and managers? That's another story. I am more than happy to help out in any way I can, but I have little to no patience for poor work ethic and people that break the rules. I find it frustrating and tend to voice my opinion when I really shouldn't. It's something that I'm working on, but it is definitely a major flaw I have.
The boyfriend and the roommate talked with me for quite awhile about resumes and gave me a lot of great suggestions on how to word some things on my resume and tomorrow when I finish with a couple rough drafts they've agreed to read them and help me make any necessary adjustments. The roommate is also taking me to the social security office on her next day off to apply for a new social security card. Nowadays company's require to actually see it so they can make a copy for the hr files, which is a lot different from a few years back and is partially the reason for my extended vacation from the workforce. The other reason was because the boyfriend wanted to try out the whole me not working thing. I think it would be better for me to work not only financially, but for my own sanity. He's really not too excited about the idea, but is being supportive of my decision. He just made me promise that I won't force myself to stay in a job that makes me unhappy. He apparently is still bothered by how miserable my last job made me.
I know I should be approaching this whole thing with a lot more confidence, and I'm working on that. Perhaps it's fear that is making it harder this time around. Fear that I won't find a new job, or one that I like. And its rather silly considering its not required or imperative that I get a job right away. But like many I put a lot of weight on myself, and tend to measure my self worth by other peoples standards. Yet another thing I need to work on.
One things for sure, this witch is going to do everything possible to land a good job that she can be proud of.
Well, enough procrastinating, and back to the resume :)
~peace love and pixiegiggles~
Shuvanni
Monday, January 3, 2011
Auras
For as long as I can remember I've been able to see auras. A lot of people scoff at the idea, but it's just something I've grown to accept as a reality. An aura is the energy that is emitted from a person place or thing, yes even inanimate objects and places can have auras if enough energy is placed into it, or if some sort of astral being decides it wants to hang out there. When I place appears to have an aura it is often the collection of activity over the years leaving behind fingerprints of energy creating what is similar to an aura. That's why some places feel creepy, and others feel like a good place to be. It depends on what's happened in that place over the years.
I've read a lot of books on what the colors mean and how to interpret an aura, but through experience with others that can see auras, what an aura means to the reader is completely based upon perception. This is because not everyone views a color the same way. Everyone has their own feelings about a different color. While I find light blue to be equivalent to calm relaxed energies, another person may feel that green is a better color for that interpretation. So while I will see a blue aura, someone else will see green. We are both seeing the same aura, but our brain sees the color based upon how we interpret the energy. I also personally see that the color does not decide whether or not it is a positive or negative energy, it's the shade of the aura that decides that, darker shades are more negative or extreme emotional states.
Some auras can even have shapes or symbols in them. Shapes I have gathered in my interpretation are representations of different aspects of that persons aura depending on position within or outside the aura. For example. Circles within a persons aura can mean a few things. If the circle gives the appearance of holes in the aura (no color inside the circles) it could mean a damaged aura or chakra, circles that seem to just decorate an aura but not really affect the consistency may simply be extra collections of that energy being horded, a circle outside of an aura is of ten what i consider a guardian ring, and the color of the guardian ring can give clues as to where that protection is coming from. Symbols within an aura tend to be more tricky. Often that takes research into what the actual symbol is and then trying to figure out what its purpose would be in that person's aura.
What a lot of people miss, is that auras are very personal to that person and is always the same across the board for everyone. The aura of a living thing is in reality a part of them being revealed to the astral world. Some people can mask or hide their aura, while others simply wear their whole self on their sleeve unknowing that others can see it. A good reader can learn a lot about a person by their aura, especially if they can see through the masks of the talented ones.
Another aspect of an aura is a person's chakra system. Chakras are the powerhouses of your energy body. They store and feed energy throughout your body and soul. They are wheel like vortexes that when healthy spin and open like a flower according to traditional indian beliefs. When they are clogged or unhealthy your aura cannot be properly fed, and you can also experience physical, spiritual, or emotional illness. There are multiple ways to clean out your chakras to keep them healthy and free flowing. Most consist of crystal work or meditations, and there are even people who specialize in preforming chakra cleansing as a part of holistic medicine practices. The easiest way I have found to clear out your chakras is through meditation where you find the damaged chakra and force energy through the given chakra until it spins properly. Some people prefer the use of crystals or cleansing baths though.
I've always found Auras and Chakras to be interesting to learn more about and there is an array of information that can be found in books and online about them. If this is something that interests you some great sites to start with are:
www.crystallinks.com
www.sacredcenters.com/
www.themysticeye.com
~peace love and pixie gigles~
Shuvanni
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Frustrations
Okay So I have a wonderful friend Kimmy, who I only know online. We met in a pagan chat room six years back and still keep in contact with each other. I love my Kimmy very much so and she always makes me laugh and was there for me through some pretty harsh breakups. Then there's this guy who I met working at a call center back when I lived in South Carolina. Pretty good friend has talked me through some rough times, but has a thing for pictures apparently. Over the last couple years he's been pretty aggressively requesting pictures of me. He finally stopped when I got upset about it and told him that I didn't feel right about it.
Fast-forward to this week. Kimmy, and the guy and I have been joking around on a few of my statuses. Then He friend requests her, and she accepts. He requests pictures, she's married she gets pissed. He asks me about it and I tell him, you don't request pictures from a married woman. What was his reply??? "LoL I didn't mean of her.."
Okay so you go to a friend of mine and ask her for pictures of me because I refuse to give you any?? How does that even appear to be okay? Not to mention the fact that I'm perfectly happy in a relationship myself and would never risk it for you to see some nice cleavage there buddy. (And yes my cleavage is phenomenal.) But on top of that he's engaged!
Quick rewind. A couple of years ago, he and I went out on a date. I thought we had a good time, but then I moved into an apartment without internet. (I didn't have a phone at the time either.) And he starts dating this other girl. Yep, completely moved past me because I was lacking a phone and internet, when he knew where I worked and I told him where I lived. But then once I got a phone even while in a relationship he wanted photos. Being single and lonely, I played along sending mostly face shots and a few of me in low cut shirts. Not wanting to do the whole naked thing, but then he couldn't let up. I started feeling like a total whore and started avoiding him. Then when I got back in contact with him to sell him my computer, he started up again, and I told him off. He apologized and we became friends again. Only for him to do this shit all over again? Seriously?
Its one thing to joke around, but its completely another to be creepy about it.
~Sigh~ Moving on!
Like I said yesterday I was trying to come up with something to work on this year. And well... I didn't come up with a good New Years Resolution So I have decided to come up with a list of goals, and strive to achieve them this year. I'm still working out the details of them so hopefully by next post I'll have something substantial to write about on that. There is just so much I would like to change, but I want to be realistic about it, I hate setting unreachable goals just to be disappointed when it doesn't work out.
I'm still sore from bowling on New Years eve, but I'm pretty sure I'll survive. I've been trying to keep myself busy by cleaning the apartment (though its not really messy,) and watching way too many you tube videos. I just need to come up with something constructive to do with my time. I've read every book I own a dozen times or more, and I can't bring myself to ask for another book, money being tight lately. I have started to sleep at night more, which is an awesome thing I suppose since its really weird to be up all night and sleep all day. I've always liked the night time more, but it limits you on what you can do during the time you are awake.
Well that's all for now.
~peace love and pixie giggles~
Shuvanni
Fast-forward to this week. Kimmy, and the guy and I have been joking around on a few of my statuses. Then He friend requests her, and she accepts. He requests pictures, she's married she gets pissed. He asks me about it and I tell him, you don't request pictures from a married woman. What was his reply??? "LoL I didn't mean of her.."
Okay so you go to a friend of mine and ask her for pictures of me because I refuse to give you any?? How does that even appear to be okay? Not to mention the fact that I'm perfectly happy in a relationship myself and would never risk it for you to see some nice cleavage there buddy. (And yes my cleavage is phenomenal.) But on top of that he's engaged!
Quick rewind. A couple of years ago, he and I went out on a date. I thought we had a good time, but then I moved into an apartment without internet. (I didn't have a phone at the time either.) And he starts dating this other girl. Yep, completely moved past me because I was lacking a phone and internet, when he knew where I worked and I told him where I lived. But then once I got a phone even while in a relationship he wanted photos. Being single and lonely, I played along sending mostly face shots and a few of me in low cut shirts. Not wanting to do the whole naked thing, but then he couldn't let up. I started feeling like a total whore and started avoiding him. Then when I got back in contact with him to sell him my computer, he started up again, and I told him off. He apologized and we became friends again. Only for him to do this shit all over again? Seriously?
Its one thing to joke around, but its completely another to be creepy about it.
~Sigh~ Moving on!
Like I said yesterday I was trying to come up with something to work on this year. And well... I didn't come up with a good New Years Resolution So I have decided to come up with a list of goals, and strive to achieve them this year. I'm still working out the details of them so hopefully by next post I'll have something substantial to write about on that. There is just so much I would like to change, but I want to be realistic about it, I hate setting unreachable goals just to be disappointed when it doesn't work out.
I'm still sore from bowling on New Years eve, but I'm pretty sure I'll survive. I've been trying to keep myself busy by cleaning the apartment (though its not really messy,) and watching way too many you tube videos. I just need to come up with something constructive to do with my time. I've read every book I own a dozen times or more, and I can't bring myself to ask for another book, money being tight lately. I have started to sleep at night more, which is an awesome thing I suppose since its really weird to be up all night and sleep all day. I've always liked the night time more, but it limits you on what you can do during the time you are awake.
Well that's all for now.
~peace love and pixie giggles~
Shuvanni
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year
According to the Gregorian Calendar, it is the start of the New Year. I celebrated the Celtic New year a few months back, but I still try to do something for new years. Which is why I deleted my old blog and decided to start anew. I am terrible at keeping up with this kind of stuff, but I'm going to give it a real try this time around, partially because I think it will be good for me to continue to do some writing.
Well out with the old and in with the new!
This year has been insane and I often felt as though I couldn't get grounded. I moved to completely new state with my boyfriend, Alex, and my roommate Mara. I originally transferred through the grocery store I had worked at for over two years. In July I quit and felt it was the best thing I had ever done. I have enjoyed a nice break from the working world because Alex felt I should try it out. Now several months later, I think I'm ready to get back to working, because staying at home is just not stimulating enough for me. So hopefully the new year will bring a new job and more adventures along the way.
Everyone is abuzz with the ending of the year and the idea of a new years resolution. I really don't have one as of yet. I have been thinking about it, and I don't want to choose one of the usual ones that everyone picks. I want my New Years Resolution to be meaningful and life changing. I have all day to come up with it though.
To be honest I am so glad that the holidays are finally OVER!!! I'm not a total Scrooge, but the people don't seem to get nicer at this time of year, they get greedy, and annoying. I've never been a big fan of most Christmas Music, especially the poorly done stuff that plays in every business from Thanksgiving till New Years.
Don't get me wrong though, I did have a wonderful Yule. The Lunar Eclipse was absolutely beautiful. Spending time with the two most important people in my life was well worth having to drudge through the 12 days of Christmas every time I walked into a gas station. And last night for New Years we went bowling and had a pretty good time, in spite of the noisiness of the crowd. Maybe I'm just not one for large groups of people anymore. It seems like whenever we go somewhere the louder and more crowded it is, the easier I am annoyed. Partially I think its all the random energy whipping about is distracting and confusing. But that's basically the holidays for me in a nutshell.
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